Megan's story:
My daughter was in a
toxic, abusive relationship for 10 years and we, her parents, were unaware how
bad it was. It has taken 4 years now for her to undo a lot of the damage. She
wrote about it publicly for the first time today and I wanted to share it with you all here. I am SO VERY proud of her for speaking up.
(Megans post)
I want to share
something extremely personal, something I've never publicly talked about. There
are things I had to unlearn about love over the past 4 years from my first
healthy relationship with Andy. Hence why, though we are parting, I will be
forever grateful to him:
REAL MEN do NOT...
1. call their
girlfriend/wife names (even when they're mad or drunk)
2. yell at their girlfriend/wife(even when they're mad or drunk).
3. shove or hit
their girlfriend/wife(even they're mad or drunk)
4. threaten to punch
their girlfriend/wife.
5. punch walls or
smash property in front of their girlfriend/wife to scare them.
6. trap their girlfriend/wife in
a room blocking their only way out.
7. Insult his girlfriend/wife's family in order to hurt her
8. Blackmail his girlfriend/wife to stay with him by threatening suicide.
9. Attempt suicide
unsuccessfully and then tell his girlfriend/wife if he died it'd be her fault.
10. Marry his girlfriend/wife and
then on their wedding night after consummation tell her it wasn't as fun
anymore because it wasn't "taboo".
11. Shove his girlfriend/wife out of
the car and speed off.
12. Frequently have
sex with his girlfriend/wife when she's passed out drunk or asleep
13. Touch his girlfriend/wife when she's sleeping when she explicitly said she wasn't wanting sex.
14. Pull out a gun
in the middle of an argument.
Stop supporting and
accepting supposed "nice guys" who thinks there's any excuse for this
kind of behavior. Don't associate with them or condone them.
Ladies there is
absolutely NO excuse for this :(
I only regret
thinking I had to take drastic measures and compromise my morals in order to
make toxic people let me go. It didn't work. Toxic people don't let you just
walk away. And they just get new ammo to make you feel guilty.
It took me a long
time to speak out... because it took me
a long time to realize how f*d up all that was. Andy had to show me over so
many years that arguing or getting mad didn't mean everyone will lose control,
that I was safe no matter what. There are lots of good men out there; the real
ones always make you feel safe.
*end*
If you or someone you know is any of the situations described above, please get help right away. There is legal and financial help available to get you safely out of a toxic situation. Please reach out to one of the resources below immediately. Your next encounter may already be too late.
National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/ an advocate on our website.
There are currently 5 domestic violence and abuse shelters and programs in Tacoma, WA with 4 offering a hotline and 4 offering emergency shelter.
If you, or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center is here to help. You'll find all ... Helpline: 253-798-4166
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