Things They Didn't Teach You in the Welfare Line

There is no shame and nothing wrong with being on state assistance - or welfare. It has a nasty connotation and reputation. People assume the worst about Welfare recipients everywhere - regardless of their backgrounds, or the circumstances that brought them to need public assistance. It's a very cruel and judgey world. I once stood in line at the public assistance office and was given an icy cold glare from a social worker who just thought she was better than me and I was nothing to her. Never mind that I was standing there in my work clothes - my business-casual dress slacks and blouse and blazer jacket. It didn't matter how I looked.

It was a difficult time in my life (actually TWO), I needed support and help from public assistance and found there to be no reference guide, no teacher or mentor to teach me how to outgrow my need for it. There are some lessons I learned along the way that I want to share about this time in my life, and many people in poverty can learn from them, even if they are not getting any public assistance currently. This list is by no means all-inclusive.

1. Establishing Stable Housing is one of the most difficult hurdles of all. There are tons of people who can't qualify for any financial or food assistance and are well below the means to pay the average rent in Pierce County. They are called 'working poor'. There is no shame in being poor, but the stigma associated with it is daunting to overcome.
1. We are in a time where the average cost of rent in the local city/metro area of Tacoma, WA is higher than 33% of most people's average wages. Some landlords prohibit their renters from making less than 33% of their monthly rent in order to be eligible to live there.
2. Housing-sharing situations exist, and is a more likely solution than Section-8 or HUD housing, as there is still a multi-year wait list until opening come available through those channels. The wait list is closed and has been for years.
3. Even if someone was able to get Section-8 or HUD housing, it is very difficult to find any landlord interested in renting to the person. There is a huge risk to the landlord and a big stigma for renters on this type of assistance.
4. There is now a local community services guide online and by phone (2-1-1) that is sponsored by the United Way of Pierce County and it has lists of housing resources available for people to explore alternatives to public housing.
2. Be Resourceful. They won't give you enough food stamps to actually make it through a month without getting more help from others or paying for food yourself. Learn what other resources you have in your village. There are more than just food banks to go to for help.
1. Gleaners clubs
2. Food co-ops - where people buy food in bulk and share among each other
3. Community gardens - where people grow their own produce among neighbor communities and family.
3. Sometimes life isn't fair. You have to kick life in the nuts and just put your big-girl panties on and fight back.
   I was turned down for childcare assistance because I had taken a full time job too soon. I didn't fit the rules and was told I had to wait on a 6 month wait list to get help with childcare. I took the barely-over-minimum-wage job anyway and was fortunate to have help from my family in the meantime while waiting for the childcare assistance.
4. Stepping out of your comfort zone is mandatory! Having a job isn't enough to pay rent and keep your lights on. Sometimes you need to work an extra job or negotiate with people you don't want to talk to for things like extra time to pay, lowering your bill, or negotiating other ways to meet your obligations.
1. Call your power company early - before they have shut the power off. There are often things they can do to assist if you talk to the right person.
2. Call the 2-1-1 line and start calling around the churches and agencies listed - even if they all tell you 'no'.
3. There are list of resources on public Facebook groups like Buy Nothing groups or Neighbors Helping Neighbor pages. You keep calling until you find someone who has funds to help.

5. Live within your means. Learn to manage your money and use credit wisely.
1. This means you probably can't afford the Netflix account or Cable,
2. Forego the $800 smart phone with all the latest and greatest apps.
3. Skip the expensive electronics and video games for the kids birthdays (trust me - they don't need to rack up the screen time anyway)
4. Manage your bank account so that you are not paying overdraft fees every month or write bad checks
5. You don't need the latest car model - or all the extras that come with it
6. Learn to cook from scratch. Don't buy all the easy-convenience foods available in boxes, cans and bags.
1. Grow, can, freeze and prepare food ahead
2. Reduce waste - reusable food containers, and reuse your ziplock bags.
3. You can do many things with a piece of tough meat and some not-so-fresh vegetables. Learn how to make your food dollars stretch.
7. Raise your education. You need more education if you want a job paying more than min-wage. There are places to explore your horizons for free, and places to get an education without taking time away from your home or children. Be ready to expand your comfort-zone and learn!
8. You need to network with your village and find other moms to share child care duties with. It's not easy -especially if you are an introvert, but will save you when you need help and family isn't around.
9. Invest in Your Network. Make friends with experts at things you are NOT. A mechanic, electrical, and plumber, handy-man, for example. You never know when you will need one in a pinch. BUT also be willing to cultivate YOUR strengths and possibly barter for what you need. Be willing to put yourself out there and share what you have - and people often reciprocate.
10. Have courage and tenacity. It takes no effort to wallow in self-pity over your circumstances. It takes great courage to ask another person for help. Everyone's situation is different and may have elements of things that are well beyond your control. Don't let life beat you down to the ground. There is always HOPE. No one is truly alone, unless they have no desire to help themselves.

God bless! Happy travels and keep dreaming big!

-Esther

INVISIBLE

I work for a national staffing company supporting corporate operations. I sometimes feel that I have a big challenge in being visible to my organization. In fact, I feel somewhat INvisible sometimes. A lot of my ‘voice’ comes from the work I produce – and is often seen as background information, not as a key impact role in decision making, yet I am told all the time how important data is to leadership in making decisions.  I am told it is critical, in fact. 

When it comes to external career recognition – I find that many others are publicly recognized but the recognition I receive is most often in private, direct to me only - and then I forward it to my direct supervisor and his up line, where I am thanked for my contributions - privately.  It makes me wonder if it is me, or the fact that I am a woman, or just a cultural norm within the corporate world I work in.

I would like to encourage this organization's leaders to treat praise and recognition among all of us equally – not just in certain departments. It’s great to see it happen to others – I applaud those that deserve the recognition for their work, but the silent majority that are 'unsung heroes' of the corporate world often feel left out because they know they are doing things that are just as impactful as the ones that are recognized.

I personally have chosen to tackle this feeling in many tangle ways.  I give thought leadership in whatever issue that I'm invited to speak to – provide unsolicited insights as well as solicited ones, offer recommendations and insights whenever the opportunity arises.  I find ways to raise my voice whenever the opportunity comes.

I look for leadership roles within the context of my role in the organization – and on a personal level. I am involved in community leadership roles and in my church as a women’s group leader.

I examine my insecurities and make sure I am not putting untruthful filters on the circumstances. I don’t think that I am finding insecurity is an issue because I am quick to speak up for myself.

I examine my behaviors - is there anything I'm doing to push people away? I am consulted by other teams on a regular basis, and I do well with my individual work reviews, so I have no real evidence that it is ME - or my own behavior as an obstacle in my path.

I think I am restless. The feeling keeps haunting me that I have no real career path here or that I have nowhere to go up (and by "up" I do not mean the ladder of management). Being unsatisfied with the status quo of a mid-career level corporate position is not the end of the world to me. In fact, maybe it is the catalyst with which I will choose to accelerate some of my life-long goals and reach beyond the corporate existence and for the greater good.

Happy travels and keep dreaming big!